Techniques for Effective Communication

Techniques for Effective Communication

Whether it be in friendships, families, or any other relationship, effective communication is key. Here are a few great memorable techniques to improve communication in any setting.

A.R.E. Skills

A.R.E. (Acknowledge, Reflect, Engage) skills are essential for conflict resolution, communication, and building stronger relationships. Acknowledgment has to do with being conscious of and validating the thoughts, feelings, and perspectives of yourself and others and understanding maybe without always agreeing. It includes active listening and validation, which lay the groundwork for respect and open communication. Reflection means examining your own thoughts and biases while considering the motivations and concerns of others, promoting introspection and self-awareness for better communication. Engagement is about actively participating in respectful dialogue to address conflicts and find solutions through open, honest communication and collaboration. 

L.U.V. Technique

When listening as the receiver, use the LUV technique: Listen, Understand, and Validate. Listen with your ears, eyes, and heart to understand the other person’s feelings, showing engagement through comments or nods; Understand by repeating the main ideas in your own words and asking respectful questions; and Validate by expressing empathy for their feelings and confidence in their ability to find solutions. As the sender, use "I-messages" to express your feelings, needs, or thoughts respectfully, clearly describe the desired behavior or issue without blame, apologize for mistakes, and explain your feelings and desires. “I feel ___ when ___ because ___.” Avoid using disrespectful words, yelling, swearing, sarcasm, put-downs, blaming, criticizing, or taking offense when communicating with family members. 

Practicing “Triple A” Listening

“Triple A” is for Attitude, Attention, and Adjustment. Try to start conversations with a positive attitude and limit negative thoughts until you’ve fully listened to the other person. Show your attention through verbal and physical cues like eye contact, nodding, smiling, and mirroring their body language while ignoring distractions. Keep an open mind, be willing to adapt your perspective, and ask questions to understand better. These skills — maintaining a good attitude, giving full attention, and being flexible — help you become an active listener. Recognize any barriers you have to effective listening and make adjustments as needed.

Asking Good Questions

When communicating, asking good questions is crucial for understanding and obtaining more information. Good questions are direct, concise, descriptive, and avoid confusion, allowing the conversation to flow smoothly. Types of questions include open-ended for discussion, follow-up for clarity, and leading to steer responses. To ask good questions, know the information you need, be clear and purposeful, and choose the right moment. Listen carefully, avoid interrupting, and use eye contact to show engagement. Don’t fear asking for clarity, and allow the conversation to flow naturally. Use pauses to think and avoid assuming you know the answer. Keep questions brief, sequence them appropriately, and use the right tone. Stay flexible, stay on topic, and think before speaking. This approach will help you become a better communicator.

Self-Care

The wellness wheel for self-care below (credit: olgaphoenix.com) encompasses six key areas: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, professional, and personal. Physical wellness involves maintaining a healthy body through exercise, nutrition, and rest. Psychological wellness focuses on mental health, stress management, and cognitive growth. Emotional wellness emphasizes understanding and managing emotions. Spiritual wellness involves finding meaning and purpose in life, often through meditation or connection with a higher power. Professional wellness relates to career satisfaction and work-life balance. Personal wellness includes hobbies, social connections, and personal growth. Balancing these areas promotes overall well-being and a fulfilling life, which lead to healthy relationships and effective communication. 

(Credit: Between Sessions Resources)